SAY GOODBYE TO SINGLE FRUSTRATION SYNDROME!
All my single ladies… this is for you.
Have you lost faith, hope and all belief that you are never going to find the one? Do you suffer from single frustration syndrome?
Are you going on lots of dates and just not feeling 100 percent with the guys you are dating?
Are you worried you’re too fussy and should just put up with someone because he seems nice enough?
Do you have that “he will just do attitude, as I am getting old and one can’t just sit around and wait?”
Do you struggle with finding dates to go on? Not sure where you actually meet someone these days?
Have you been single for so long that it scares the hell out of you to give up your independence?
Well my lovelies all of these scenarios were me over the last five years!
You heard right. Five whole glossy years!!! I tried it all let me tell you. Searching for Mr Right. Searching for The One!
I went online, tried meeting through friends, through sporting activities, through gyms. I even tried asking out my favourite local Barristers (cringe)…you name it, this ex single girl tried it all.
I spent many many Saturday nights home alone, searching through Facebook, watching sitcoms, eating chocolate, wallowing in my own single self pity party. I used to get so jealous when friends would share stories about their evenings with their boyfriends, or the latest dating scenario they had been on.
I used to see people getting engaged, getting married, having babies and think…”F$@k! When is it my turn?”
My brothers and sisters, all got married, bought homes, had children and once again, there I was the single sister.
I used to get so down, it was really quite a dark and lonely contracted time. I went into some extremely low places, hating myself for being unlovable and wondering why it hadn’t happened to me yet?
Then suddenly one day a LIGHT switch turned on inside of me. I thought ‘Why the hell am I feeling all of this doubt and feeling not good enough?
Why instead don’t I start forming a love affair with myself? Why not date me? Why not fall in LOVE with me, with who I am, what I offer and find out what really fills me up from the inside out?
THIS was an extremely magical time for me. Falling in LOVE and dating ME bloody ROCKED!
Wow I thought! I really am someone so loving, so awesome and truly deserving of my own LOVE…
Its a not an easy journey, this self-love shit. And I kind of hate using the cliché word ‘self-love’ but I really honestly, wholeheartedly can share with you, that falling in love with myself and accepting (as challenging as it was/is) all parts of myself, made me be in a place so ready and open to receive love.
You see, when you are in such a sweet loving place within yourself, the love that comes in just compliments this space. It doesn’t come from need, or desire. It is a pure reflection of what you are… LOVE reflected back to you.
I share below some ways I started to connect with, and date myself:
Coffee dates alone.
Walks out in nature alone.
Self-love affirmations… (as friggin cheesy as these sound, they are so so powerful) and I still say them to myself.
Vision board making with sweet tunes, candles, wine and a very clear vision on the life and man my heart desired.
Cleansing my body and mind.
Pure girly hang time.
Being ok with days when It got low, hard, shitty and dark, embracing the feelings fully and balling like a baby… So cleansing.
Doing Danielle LaPorte’s – Desire mapping.
Reading Louise Hay, Gabrielle Bernstein, Brenne Brown and many more amazing inspiring books.
Watching inspiring Ted-Talks.
Embraced feelings of happiness and support for other peoples happiness in relationships.
Extra bonus tips for you single babes:
Be choosy (you will know when you know – its not a choice).
Try anything once (I meet my guy on TINDER hee hee).
Write down what it is you want in a guy and how you want the relationship to feel – comfortable, fun, healthy, positive. Write down how he will be aligned with your values and what you believe in life. Get really bloody clear on this
Manifest every day. I used to say ‘I am in a loving, fun, healthy relationship with my soul mate’ and boom! (he is here now).
DO NOT take your old baggage and relationships into the new one.
Have YOU time. You don’t get it back so soak it elfin up!
Believe you are enough and you are so deserving, because you are.
Take your time, there is not age limit that you have to have meet someone by.. I was bloody 37 for crying out loud..
Trust your intuition… Listen to your heart…
Ask yourself could you see you and your friends/family all connecting and having a nice time together?
I really honestly whole-heartedly hope this has helped some of you beautiful sweet single souls out there feel a little better about being single right now.
Remember there is no rush… There is no 100% perfect man. You are good enough, you are deserving and never, ever stop believing… Stay true to yourself, stay open and enjoy dating your rad self.
I love hearing from you below in the comments, your soul open hearted sharing, supports inspires me and all of my other followers reading so don’t be shy…
From my heart to yours Roshi xxx